What I’m loving about March is you. Yes, you! I recently went through a messy friend breakup where some people were treating me pretty poorly, but then acted like I was in the wrong for pointing it out. It made me think about all the times in my life when I accepted being mistreated because I didn’t want to make someone “mad”– in relationships, in friendships, at work.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that your value is in how you feel about yourself, not how others feel about you. It’s not your burden to always make people like you. So today’s post is about celebrating you, and taking the time to think about your relationship with yourself.

When’s the last time that you felt uncomfortable about something, but bit your tongue and went home and complained about it to someone else instead. What’s holding you back from speaking up in the moment?

I’ve started trying to speak up in the moment, or at least speaking up once I collect my thoughts. It’s not always easy and sometimes people will be really mean when you stand up for yourself. But in those moments, you have to remember who you owe to be happy– it’s yourself, not them.

It might feel hard, it might feel lonely, but it’s also about accepting that you are in control of your life outcomes, instead of letting life happen to you. I recently went through this process at work, and it took a long time to find a voice to stand up for myself and ask for better. It was difficult. It was clunky. I was terrified. But, I partnered with people that I trusted to coach me, and I ended up in a much better job and it was worth the process to get there.

It’s also important to use your voice for other people, not just yourself. Do you see someone treating a mutual friend or coworker poorly? Speak up for them too! Your voice is as powerful as you make it.